


Eye of the Beholder

by obi_ki



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 13:36:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obi_ki/pseuds/obi_ki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Overheard conversations can lead to a variety of actions and reactions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye of the Beholder

Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan

Catagory: Mild angst, Qui/Obi

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: None

Spoilers: Not really.

Summary: Overheard conversations can lead to a variety of actions and reactions.

Disclaimers: Everything Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am just playing in his  
world, borrowing the boyz and their accomplices and will return them all when I'm through. No money  
is being made from this, it is all done for entertainment only.

Author's notes: Massive Qui-Gon hugs to Monalee and Emu whose suggestions and insightful comment  
were immeasurable in making this a much better piece, not to mention the more basic corrections in  
grammar and spelling they provided as well. I couldn't have done it without them. Also thanks to  
the crew in IRC for the support and prodding when I was bashing my head against the writer's block  
wall. As always, I can't resist making a few final tweaks, so all mistakes are mine. Hope you  
enjoy the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just don’t understand what Kenobi sees in him." The sound of his padawan's name coming from up ahead made Qui-Gon stop in his tracks, anxious to hear the reply.

"Is your vision going, Asyr? The man is an absolute hunk," another unfamiliar voice argued.

"Granted he's a looker and I must admit that I've fantasized about finding out firsthand just how big his saber is and how well he wields it, but that's just sex," Asyr replied. "He's just so cold, aloof, standoffish – always the serene Jedi Master without any hint of emotion or passion. How could anyone want to be in a relationship with someone like that, Daye - especially someone as hot blooded as Kenobi?"

Ignoring his twinge of guilt for eavesdropping on a private conversation, Qui-Gon listened intently as the discussion resumed.

"Maybe he has another side, a part of himself that he only reveals in private," Daye offered.

"And then there's the fact that Jinn's his Master. I spend enough time with my Master out of necessity. I wouldn’t want to spend my liberty time with him as well," came from Asyr in reply.

"But think of the perks. You'd no longer be relegated to using your hand for relief on missions since you'd have a built-in bed partner," Daye retorted. "Nights with those strong arms wrapped around you would make even sleeping on the ground more palatable. Not to mention being able to use sex to jolly your way out of a reprimand if you did something stupid." He stopped speaking for a moment as if in thought, then added more seriously, "Though it must make it harder for Master Jinn to draw the line, to correct Obi-Wan's flaws with the detachment of a Master and not the eyes of a lover."

As the padawans continued, a mixture of irritation and distress welled up within him and Qui-Gon struggled not to allow it to color the Force and reveal his presence.

"I suppose," Asyr agreed. "And at some point Obi-Wan is bound to come to his senses and see that he has better options that his fifty plus year old Master."

"And who would that be, Asyr? You?" Daye asked before the two men dissolved into laughter and started walking away.

Qui-Gon stood flabbergasted as the topic of conversation changed and the voices faded off into the distance. Unbeknownst to them, the two padawans had echoed comments made by a few of his peers and a good portion of the Council along with many of Qui-Gon's own concerns from when Obi-Wan had first approached him about entering into an intimate relationship. Hearing their comments aloud brought all those misgivings back with a vengeance. He might have stood rooted to that spot all night contemplating those misgivings if the sound of approaching footsteps hadn’t pulled him from his mental wallowing.

He walked the remaining distance to their quarters without actually noticing the passage of time. After hanging his cloak, Qui-Gon pulled off his boots and placed them by the door before heading towards their bedroom. As usual, the sight that greeted him upon entering brought a smile to his face.

Obi-Wan was sprawled out on his stomach on their bed, wearing only his linens, fast asleep. As Qui-Gon moved silently towards the bed, he could see that the datapad on 'Ethics in Political Negotiations' that his apprentice had been studying from was still held loosely in one hand. His legs were spread, muscular thighs wide and inviting and the expanse of smooth skin down his back blended with the creamy color of his small clothes. His face was turned to the side, padawan braid trapped under his neck and spiky hair pointing all directions.

Qui-Gon felt a massive surge of love for the man who shared his life even as the others' less than charitable comments floated around in his mind. Why did some people insist on making judgments on things they knew little or nothing about? Or worse yet, intentionally misunderstanding a comment or situation just so that it would support their personal convictions or point of view? More important, did Obi-Wan realize that his agemates held such opinions of their relationship? If so, did it pain him to have people gossiping somewhat maliciously about them, having his friends thinking that Obi-Wan would use their romantic entanglement to assuage the rough spots in his training?

As he headed to the refresher to prepare for bed, his thoughts took another direction. Did his own friends and colleagues still find occasion to discuss his relationship with Obi-Wan in this way? Did his peers think that he was less dedicated to his Padawan's training because of their additional relationship? Suddenly memories of strange glances and abruptly halted conversations as he approached the Masters' dining tables that he had never given a second thought to took on whole new meanings.

He and Obi-Wan had discussed the possibility of such blather and had even dealt with a few minor instances of it soon after they became lovers, but they had put it down to nothing more than idle chitchat. The Council had watched Obi-Wan closely in the first months after they had become lovers, making sure that his grades and performance had not suffered and his ranking had not dropped. When the next quarterly ranking after they became intimate was posted and Obi-Wan had risen two places in the standings, the Council had backed off and left them to their own accord. But now it seemed that they had been naïve to think that would be the end of it and that they weren't the subject of arbitrary prattle in both the Masters' and Padawans' lounges. Discovering that what had been barely more than an abstract theory in those early days had now developed into an unpleasant reality was something he found difficult to come to terms with.

Heading back into their bedroom, Qui-Gon stripped down to his linens and gently pulled the datapad from Obi-Wan's hand. Pleased to see that the datapad had been highlighted to treatise on the Corporate Sector Authority that they had been discussing earlier, he turned it off and slipped carefully into bed beside his apprentice. Obi-Wan mumbled a bit and shifted position so that he was on his side, draping one arm over Qui-Gon's hip before snuggling a little closer and drifting back into a deeper sleep.

Qui-Gon mirrored that position, turning on his side so that he could look at Obi-Wan’s face. He lay there for a long moment just studying his lover’s sleeping visage but even as he tried to calm his mind for sleep, it shifted back to the overheard conversation. As much as he tried to forget he had heard the two padawans discussing his relationship with Obi-Wan, he was finding it impossible. Even more disturbing than the fact that their peers thought such things about either of them, the comments had reawakened the tiny voice of doubt that he had silenced early in their intimacies.

It seemed that hardly a ten went by without something happening that teetered the balance between the two aspects of their relationship. Most times it was only something minor like Obi-Wan arriving late for a training session or making an inappropriate comment about another Master/Padawan team. In those cases the division was less crucial as his reaction was most often the same in either role and a mild comment of reprimand was enough to quell the questionable behavior. Rarely, it was something more serious – a very public airing of a difference of opinion came quickly to mind – and those were the times that he struggled most with maintaining the equilibrium between master and lover. It was so difficult at those times to treat the situation with the proper level of detachment, to react like a master reviewing his apprentice and not a lover having his beliefs denounced. As these events replayed in his mind, he began to wonder if he hadn’t done Obi-Wan a disservice by embarking on this path of intimacy. He wasn’t sure how long he had lain there mulling this over when Obi-Wan’s sleepy voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“A credit for your thoughts," Obi-Wan teased, still more asleep than awake. When Qui-Gon didn't answer right away, the gray-green eyes became a bit more focused as he asked, "Must have been some Council meeting if you're too preoccupied to sleep. Want to talk about it?" The hand on Qui-Gon's hip slid a little lower, fingertips tracing the line between hip and leg. "Or maybe we should skip talking for now and use a more active method to relax you?"

Not wanting to begin a discussion while he was still so unsettled and even more unwilling to use intimacy to forestall the conversation, Qui-Gon captured the wandering hand and brought it to his lips. After placing a kiss on the palm, he pulled Obi-Wan into his arms. "It's nothing catastrophic and you have an exam in the morning, so let's just get some sleep." The little touch of the Force he put behind his words was enough to override the concern he could feel coming from Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief when Obi-Wan relaxed against him. Too bad he couldn’t use a Force suggestion on himself.

***********  
Qui-Gon still hadn't managed to get to sleep by the time the rising sun began to lighten the sky so he carefully disentangled himself from Obi-Wan and rose from the bed. He took a few minutes to shower and dress and then walked out onto the balcony. As he settled to his knees, he hoped that his time in meditation would prove more fruitful than his sleepless musings had. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing in preparation for exploring his reactions to the previous night's conversation but before he could delve too deeply, he became aware of Obi-Wan's presence. He remained still for a few moments, hoping that Obi-Wan would head for the shower and leave him to his meditations but when the presence didn’t fade, he opened his eyes to the sight of his padawan kneeling in front of him, robe tossed haphazardly over his shoulders.

Sleepy green eyes looked at Qui-Gon in concern for a long moment before Obi-Wan asked, “What has you so unsettled, Master?”

Unsure how to even begin to voice his concerns, Qui-Gon tried to make light of his current disquiet. “It’s nothing, Obi-Wan.”

“It has to be something, Qui-Gon,” Obi-Wan countered. One thumb stroked over the dark circle under Qui-Gon’s left eye as he added, “Did you manage to get any sleep?”

“Not much,” Qui-Gon admitted, reluctantly. He could see that Obi-Wan would not be put off by vague reassurances so he decided he might as well just get it over with. He took his apprentice’s free hand in his and asked, “Have you ever felt any regrets over us becoming lovers?”

Incredulity was too weak a word for the look that crossed Obi-Wan’s face as he replied vehemently, “Not for a moment. The day you finally gave in to my advances and made love to me was the best day of my life.” His expression morphed to one of serious contemplation as he added, “What bought this on? Has the Council alleged some impropriety with our relationship or some concern over my training?”

“No, the Council has not officially declared any discontent with either of us,” Qui-Gon admitted.

“Then what has you so troubled?” Obi-Wan asked, his forehead creasing with the beginnings of a frown.

Not sure if he wanted to actually repeat what he had overheard, Qui-Gon looked into the concerned gray-green eyes of his padawan and again tried to put off the conversation. “Just something I heard but it’s nothing that has to be dealt with now, especially with your exam this morning.”

“It’s barely 0600, Master, so I have plenty of time before my exam,” Obi-Wan replied with a weak smile. The hand on Qui-Gon’s face slid down to cup his cheek. “And I would rather not go into my exam wondering what has my normally unflappable Master in such a state of disquiet.”

The loving touch and anxious look melted his remaining reserves. "Looks like you learned the lesson of dealing with things as they happen and not putting them off much better than your old Master, my Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon replied as he shifted to his feet. “Let’s make some tea and I'll share my thoughts with you.”

Obi-Wan stood as well, leaning in for a quick kiss before he said, “I’ll shower and dress while you brew the tea. I’ll join you in the common room in a few minutes.”

Qui-Gon stood on the balcony for a moment after Obi-Wan disappeared back in the direction of the bedroom, contemplating exactly how he should go about divulging his concerns. When he recognized that his normal diplomatic savvy would not help him in this, he headed to the kitchen to brew the tea, resolved to just be honest and deal with any repercussions as they appeared.

*********

Qui-Gon was sipping his tea and attempting to compose his thoughts when Obi-Wan entered the common room.

Picking up the mug of tea that had been prepared for him, Obi-Wan settled on the floor at Qui-Gon’s feet and looked up, one eyebrow raised. “Well?”

“Do you ever wonder what your friends and agemates think of our expanded relationship?” Qui-Gon asked.

A furrow appeared between Obi-Wan’s eyes as he replied, “My friends understand your place and importance in my life and are happy for us. As for my agemates, I honestly don’t care what they think. Why do you ask?”

“On my way back from the Council session last night, I overheard two of your agemates discussing our relationship. Or more specifically, their bewilderment over what someone as young and vibrant as you could possibly see in an old and aloof relic like me, especially in light of our professional commitment to one another,” Qui-Gon admitted.

"Sounds like someone needs their vision checked," Obi-Wan chuckled. "Or maybe an hour in the training salles having you wipe the floor with them would make them reconsider the old relic description." When Qui-Gon didn't react to the joke, his expression turned serious and he continued, "I thought you'd gotten beyond being affected by the 'robbing the crèche,' and 'he's only with him because he's his Master,' cracks a long time ago."

After a long moment of silence, Qui-Gon confessed, "It wasn't just the age and position comments, though I have to admit that part of me thinks that they're right." Qui-Gon stopped for a moment, struggling to put his concerns into words. "At first impression, I was quick to tell myself that the padawans were just indulging in idle gossip, speculation about things that have no basis in fact but maybe there is some truth to what they are saying. How many things are you missing out on because you and I are lovers?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath in an obvious attempt to remain calm before turning the question around. "And just what exactly do you think I'm missing out on?"

"Socializing with other people your age at clubs, parties and the like," Qui-Gon answered. "Instead you spend most of your nights in our quarters with your staid and boring master."

"It's not like you keep me chained here, Master," Obi-Wan retorted. "I go out with my friends as often as our schedules allow but you'll have to forgive me if I enjoy quiet nights spent at home with my lover. And just because you keep a small circle of friends doesn’t make you aloof, staid or boring."

"Maybe not, "Qui-Gon admitted reluctantly. "It just bothers me that our choices have people assuming the worst about you, about us."

That comment seemed to raise Obi-Wan's hackles and his eyes darkened with the beginnings of anger. "And just what are they assuming?" When Qui-Gon didn’t answer right away, Obi-Wan took the initiative and offered his own suggestions. "That I'm using you? That you're just a convenient bed partner until someone better comes along? That I use sex to get out of trouble or that you're making my training easier or covering up my weaknesses because we're lovers?"

Qui-Gon stared, open-mouthed, as Obi-Wan's words sunk in. "People have actually said those things to you?"

"Not to my face," Obi-Wan scoffed, "but a number of senior padawans and younger knights made similar comments to Garen, Bant, and Reeft, when we first became lovers knowing they would tell me. It may still be going on for all I know. I told Garen and the others that the only opinions that mattered to me were the Council's and yours and I stand by that declaration." His voice softened as he added, "You and I discussed all of this during the months I was pursuing you."

"Yes, we discussed it but hearing it spoken aloud makes me think that maybe we aren’t as impartial as we think," Qui-Gon said. "I can think of a few instances where I allowed my feelings for you to mitigate my reactions."

"And I can think of a few times when just the opposite happened," Obi-Wan countered. "Where you expected more because of the added insight our intimate relationship gives us." His expression turned more serious as he added, "There was that one disagreement early in our relationship where I crossed the line a bit but that was months ago. But if you really think about it, you'll realize that we've moved past that and it's no longer an issue. In fact, although the increased depth of our relationship makes me more at ease in voicing my concerns and opinions to you, I think I've taken it the other direction. I'm much more careful with how and where I express myself so that I'd be less likely to do anything that could put you in an awkward position." Obi-Wan shifted onto his knees so that he could place the back of his hand against Qui-Gon's cheek as he added, "We both know that even Jedi indulge in callous gossip if the mood suits them and we heard rumblings of a few conversations about the propriety of our relationship when we first became lovers so I don’t understand why this is now coming as such a surprise to you."

Qui-Gon considered Obi-Wan's words for a long moment and then said, "We discussed the concept and even the rumored rumblings but I wasn't aware that our relationship had actually become a common topic of discussion among your peers. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that, in the six months since we've become lovers, it's been discussed around us repeatedly, within various segments of the Temple population."

The fingers on Qui-Gon's cheek stroked softly as Obi-Wan continued to probe. "The bigger question is why do you care? You buck the Council at every turn and you defy the edicts of the Code without the slightest remorse to follow the Will of the Force, so why should a gossip's unkind words matter to you one iota?"

Qui-Gon's expression must have said it all because before he could compose a reply, Obi-Wan's hand shifted to cover his heart and he said, "I should have known. All that discussion in the beginning, all your apprehension about the effect on my training. It's not yourself you're concerned about is it? You're worried that I'll be hurt by the less than charitable opinions of my agemates or that the gossip will affect my reputation." Obi-Wan looked intently into Qui-Gon's eyes, a hint of sorrow coloring his words as he added, "Or that eventually other people's opinions will start to erode my feelings."

Saddened by the traces of anguish leaking out from behind Obi-Wan's shields, Qui-Gon quickly sought to reassure him. "I do not doubt that you love me, Obi-Wan."

"No, but your history with Xanatos and even with Tahl makes you skeptical that it will be enough," Obi-Wan countered, his voice thick with repressed emotions. "And because of that history, I think some part of your heart fears that one day I'll tire of you."

"Some days I feel like I've robbed you of your youth, that your hidden feelings for me kept you from enjoying trysts with beautiful young men and women whose only intent would have been to share pleasure," Qui-Gon said, with a deep sigh. "Every being should experience the flutters of young love without reservations but even in the experimentations of your youth, you kept your heart safely guarded."

"Even then I knew that only one person would ever truly hold my heart, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan countered. "I just wish you didn't believe that realizing my love for you at an early age created some type of loss for me, or that at some point in the future I'll regret that loss." He grasped one of Qui-Gon's hands and placed it on his own chest, mirroring his own position as he added, "Nothing I have experienced in my life compares to the intensity of what I feel each and every time we make love. No matter what anyone else says or thinks, I am exactly where I belong, exactly where I want to be."

"I don't deserve you, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon declared after a long silence, swells of emotions roughening his voice.

The loving expression that had accompanied Obi-Wan's last declaration morphed into a lecherous smirk as he shifted until he was wedged between Qui-Gon's spread thighs. "You may not deserve me but you're definitely stuck with me." He dropped his hands to Qui-Gon's knees and slid them upward very slowly. "Maybe a physical demonstration of my commitment would help to reassure you."

Although heat rushed to his groin at the teasing touches and sensual suggestion, it was accompanied by guilt that Obi-Wan's offer hovered very near the area of the overheard accusations. In his uncertainty, Qui-Gon hid behind the cloak of duty to still the questing hands. "You have an important exam to take this morning, Padawan, and you should go into it fully rested."

"I am fully rested, Master, and I'm relatively certain that you had a hand in that," Obi-Wan replied as he pulled his hands out from under the larger ones covering them. "I'm thoroughly prepared for my exam and since the sun has barely risen above the horizon, there is more than enough time for other activities before I need to leave."

"I appreciate your concern, love, but you don’t need to coddle me," Qui-Gon maintained.

A spark of anger appeared in Obi-Wan's eyes and he answered curtly. "Who's coddling you? I was asleep when you came in last night and when I did wake up you used the Force to nudge me back to sleep. Is it so surprising that I'd like to spend some time with my lover before our day begins?"

The sound that escaped from Qui-Gon at Obi-Wan's scolding was a cross between a groan and a self-deprecating chuckle. "It wouldn’t be if I was actually thinking. Sorry, love, it seems that my lack of sleep has made me even more obtuse than usual this morning."

The anger on Obi-Wan's face faded and was replaced with a slight smile. "Idiotic might be a more accurate description." The smile widened as he leaned closer. "Good thing I love you," he whispered before pressing his lips against Qui-Gon's. The kiss began chastely, a soft melding of lips that lasted for almost a minute before it deepened and Obi-Wan pushed his tongue into Qui-Gon's mouth hungrily. He tangled his fingers in the heavy mass of chestnut hair as he explored, not pulling back until he had sampled every tiny crevice. The moment Obi-Wan's tongue stopped moving Qui-Gon's surged forward, exploring with a matching intensity. By the time their mouths finally separated, they were panting heavily from arousal and lack of air.

Obi-Wan rose from between Qui-Gon's legs and held out his hand. "Now unless you intend to continue this dimwitted phase, I suggest we move this back into our bedroom and make the most of the time before my exam."

Smothering the little voice that said this was canting extremely close to the thing they had just been discussing, Qui-Gon took the offered hand and wrapped his arms around his lover as soon as he got to his feet. "I may be idiotic this morning but even I'm not dense enough to reject that wonderful offer," he whispered playfully into the ear nearest his lips before leading them in the direction of the bedroom.

Neither of them had bothered with belts or boots when they dressed so it was short work to strip each other of tunics, leggings and small clothes. Obi-Wan was a tad quicker and pushed a naked Qui-Gon back onto the bed while his leggings and underclothes were still pooled around his ankles. After stepping out of them, Obi-Wan straddled the long body and leaned forward for a quick kiss. Thinning his shields to open his mind fully to Qui-Gon, he rocked back into the erection that was beginning to firm under his buttocks and teased, "When I get through with you, any remaining skepticisms will be burned away."

Using both the weight of Obi-Wan's body on his and the powerful love flowing over their bond to quell his remaining disquiet, Qui-Gon relaxed and gave himself over to the exquisite sensations. Obi-Wan started slowly, kissing, licking and biting his way over Qui-Gon's face, neck and chest, his knowledgeable lover lingering over every sensitive spot. A dark passion mark was sucked into the juncture of shoulder and neck and some lighter ones dotted the inside of his arms and along one armpit, the pleasure/pain of those marks increasing his arousal. By the time Obi-Wan bit down on one of his nipples, his low moans were almost continuous and he had to fight to keep from shoving Obi-Wan's head down lower.

After soothing the abused nipple with his tongue, Obi-Wan raised his head, glanced over at the chrono and then looked seductively at lover. “Although I'd love to continue this leisurely pace, I fear Master La’bryn would be rather annoyed if I arrived late for my exam.” He pressed back, rocking so that liquid from the thick shaft beneath him coated his ass cheek. “And I think I've kept you waiting long enough.”

“Thank the Force,” Qui-Gon exclaimed, ruthlessly pushing aside the unease the reminder of duty conjured. He grabbed the lube from the bedside table and slapped it into Obi-Wan’s open hand before his padawan could move from atop him.

Gray-green eyes darkened with desire as the implication of Qui-Gon’s actions sunk in. Uncapping the tube with one hand, Obi-Wan leaned forward for a deep kiss and then shimmied downward until he was kneeling between Qui-Gon's thighs. He quickly coated his fingers and brought them to the opening of his lover’s body. Within a couple of minutes, he had coated and stretched Qui-Gon, slicked his erect shaft and positioned himself at the opening.

Wisps of the annoying voice of doubt floated through Qui-Gon's mind as Obi-Wan lovingly prepared his body. Obi-Wan must have sensed it because he whispered reassuringly as pressed slowly inside. “Right where I belong. Nothing can compare to the feel of my cock being sheathed inside your body. Being joined with you, body and mind, is like being enclosed in a cloud of pure Light.”

On that last word Obi-Wan began to move and Qui-Gon lost the ability to do anything but feel. Their minds were connected as tightly as their bodies and sensations flowed between them until Qui-Gon was unsure which were his and which were Obi-Wan’s. Slow, gentle strokes gave way to faster ones as Qui-Gon began to beg brokenly. “More… harder… please.”

The long minutes of kissing and caressing had brought Qui-Gon very close and he knew it would take very little to push him over. Obi-Wan must have realized it as well because after just a few hard strokes, he reached between them and took Qui-Gon’s erection in his slick hand. The sensation of those callused fingers holding him and sliding over him in firm strokes was more than enough to send him over the edge. With a soft growl of “Obi-Wan”, his orgasm washed through him, coating Obi-Wan’s hand and his stomach with streams of semen.

Obi-Wan thrust a few more times and he was coming as well, a husky cry that vaguely resembled Qui-Gon’s name echoing around the room as his release pulsed into Qui-Gon’s body. Only the strength of the legs resting against his chest kept Obi-Wan from collapsing as the tremors racked his body. When his orgasm finally subsided, he slipped out of Qui-Gon and rolled onto the bed beside him. He pushed a sweat soaked lock of hair from his lover's face and kissed him gently before affirming, "Exactly where I want to be. And I'd be more than willing to remind you repeatedly should you become skeptical again."

"I'll remember that," Qui-Gon replied, the satiation of their lovemaking and his night without sleep giving his voice a lethargic quality. They lay entwined for a while, Obi-Wan's head resting on Qui-Gon's heart. They basked in the afterglow until Qui-Gon finally caught sight of the chrono. He was struggling to find the energy to rise when Obi-Wan pressed him back into the bed with a gentle kiss.

"Unless your schedule was changed during last night's Council meeting, you have nothing pressing to attend to this morning, so why don’t you try to get a few hours of sleep while I take my exam," Obi-Wan said. "I'll book a training room for us on my way to the teaching wing and you can wipe the mats with me after mid-meal." A slight smile ghosted over his face as he added, "Or maybe you should give me the names of the padawans who were gossiping about us. I'm sure with a few carefully chosen words in the direction of their Masters, they could be your afternoon sparring partners. That would allow them to learn first hand the error of such assumptions."

"As tempting as that is, calling them on their gossiping would only increase the focus on this aspect of our relationship," Qui-Gon remarked.

"True enough," Obi-Wan agreed. Another gentle kiss and he was levering himself out of his Master's arms and off the bed. "Get some rest and I'll meet you in the dining hall after my exam."

Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan made his way to the refresher, trying to decide if there was any reason to force himself out of bed. When he couldn't come up with anything pressing, he gave into Obi-Wan's prodding, pulled the covers up around his neck and closed his eyes. He lay on the bed in that limbo state between awake and asleep, aware of Obi-Wan's movements as he showered, dressed and grabbed breakfast, but not really cognizant of how much time had passed.

At the sound of Obi-Wan returning to their bedroom to collect his datapads, Qui-Gon's eyes opened. Watching the retreating form of his apprentice, his mind again contemplated the complexity of their partnership. With his open and caring personality, Obi-Wan had begun to unlock the frozen parts of his master's heart almost from the moment they had bonded on Bandomeer. Since becoming lovers, Qui-Gon had opened his heart more completely to Obi-Wan than he had ever opened it to anyone, even before Xanatos' betrayal. But that betrayal, combined with years of watching other people's relationships disintegrate around him, made him very wary of assuming anything was forever.

When the door to their quarters slid closed, Qui-Gon rolled onto his back and pondered the events of last night and this morning. The overheard conversation had forced him to examine a number of issues he had been avoiding. Although he hadn't been able to fully resolve his misgivings, he had gone a long way towards accepting them. The bottom line was that if he were blessed, they would remain together for the rest of his days and if not, worrying about the possibility would do nothing to prevent it. So he would continue to work on banishing his doubts and in the meantime would strive to suppress his disquiet and follow his personal mantra to 'Live in the Moment'. Anything less would be unfair to Obi-Wan. They had enough external factors working against them - their ages, their professional relationship, their duty to the Order – that they didn’t need his apprehension undermining their love and potentially creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Closing his eyes, he released his anxiety to the Force and burrowed further under the covers. With any luck a few hours of sleep would help him to firm his resolve, but even if it didn’t, it would allow him time to renew and refresh, emerging better prepared to face whatever the immediate future held for them. And Force knows that was all anyone could truly hope to do.

 

The End.


End file.
